But even taken those lost months into account the year has still sped by as if it had a jet propelled rocket up its very arse. The shift rota at the Fun Factory does not help I feel, what with its 2 twelve hour days followed by 2 twelve hour nights and then the supposedly 4 days off (finishing at 6 am on the morning of the first day off does not constitute a full bloody day off), the weeks just hurtle by. So faced with the end of the year already looming it just seems that life is passing me by with nothing being accomplished apart from more grey hairs adorning me beard. Especially at this time of the year when the daylight is limited, the weather can at best be described as temperamental and Christmas adverts are blighting the bloody airwaves! Maybe I suffer from S.A.D. as well as depression? it wouldn't bloody well surprise me.
I feel that I need to get back on track, simplify things a tad, get a routine that allows my mind and body to rest and stop over thinking things so much. Tis difficult to change track, for a start my work rota plays havoc with eating and sleep patterns (not to mention the pressure of an understaffed and unappreciated engineering team), sleep is not forthcoming easily of late and healthy eating is but a distant memory at the moment (these 'Yorkie' giant chocolate buttons are rather moreish). I also suffer from what is, and I'm positive about this, scientifically termed the 'Butterfly effect'. This is when, with all good intention, I set aside a time for starting and completing a task but then swiftly I'm distracted from said task by another and whilst addressing the new task something else grabs my attention, for example...... Today I was going to measure up what remains of the space in Compromise garden to allow the planning and drawing up of a lean-to for me to construct in which to shelter old Rusty from the elements and allow me to start stripping her down. Simple enough you may think? err no... I steps out of the back door and notice the large amount of 'dog daises' that require clearing up (I swear those two can crap for Wales) so I fetch the dog poo shovel and clear up said daisies taking them, in their highly engineered waste disposal and odor nullifying device (a plastic bag to you lot) to the bin which I then discovered required taking out to the street for collection day tomorrow. So I trundled the bin outwards to discover that the back gate latch was a tad loose which led me to decide to fetch a screwdriver from the
So yes I need to slow down and simplify things for sure. I really need to begin to address one task at a time and complete it before the next one is taken on. I guess that having a myriad of hobbies and interests does not help matters but I really do need to prioritise and bring some order to the tasks that just seem to pile up and whittle them down so that they do not seem such a formidable mountain of things to do. Well for a start the allotment is to be placed upon the back burner until Spring is in full swing (well once the two mature trees are pruned), Compromise garden can sleep for a while now (once its final tidy up is sorted that is), the aquarium is ticking over nicely and just requires minimum of care to maintain its slow and steady growth,...
... work on Rusty will have to be put on hold until the yet to be measured lean-to is up and also for me E bay account to be healthy enough to purchase a mig welder,...
... work? well we will just have to see how that pans out over the next few months but I feel a change is needed here and for anything else that I've missed out? well they cannot be that important so I'd best stop worrying about em.
It all seems like plain sailing don't it? But take it from me although such order and organisation would seem to be easy to attain, and it would certainly help me with the dog, it is truly something that is so very hard for me to get a grasp on and put into action. I talk of taking small steps and the journey will take care of itself but sometimes even the smallest of steps require tremendous efforts for me to take. But the thing is as I have opened up more and more about my state of mind others have come forward to talk of theirs, so if you're reading this and can identify with the dog, don't worry you are not alone in this as myself and many others are out there willing to help you.
I wonder if any of you good readers (reader?) out there have ways to organise your work/hobbies/tasks so that they don't become a mountain that just dominates your lives?, tips and advice are always welcome.
Til the next time take care,